Getting some Headspace

Here’s a quick glimpse into my mind: Why do telekinetics always use their mind to throw things at the people they want to kill instead of just using their mind powers to crush their adversary’s heart or snap their brain stem? If I could pause time would I still be able to move objects like books, or would everything be frozen solid?¬† I need to eat more kale. I wish this guy in front of me would pull a gun to rob this bank so that I could disarm him, incapacitate him, and then walk out of the bank, leaving everyone wondering if what just happened really happened. What’s the square root of 753, I should figure out how to calculate square roots in my head. Shit, I should have sent those emails out before I left work today. I guess I could send them now while I’m in line. Wait, I think this guy is pulling a gun. C’mon, do it! Nope, just a deposit book. Dammit, there’s like a half-dozen cameras that would have caught my heroics. Maybe I should take him out anyway. What if he can hear what I’m thinking? Quick distract him with thoughts of boobs. Am I supposed to pick up groceries tonight?

Congratulations (or condolences), you just spent 15 seconds inside my head. That’s what I deal with any time I am not focused on some specific task, for instance writing this post. Some people talk about the hamster in their brain. Well mine is a squirrel, and he’s a meth addicted asshole with ADHD. The scariest thing about my brain squirrel is that he’s in charge of running a relatively successful business and raising a small child. Not to mention taking care of the day to day tasks of my life.

It should be obvious that I can really benefit from some work on meditation and mindfulness. Believe it or not there was a time when I did have a bit of a handle on grounding myself through meditation. Not that I ever used it beyond my sports training. Unfortunately, that time is long since passed and I’ve lost whatever abilities I had. So here I am starting over at square one.

I’ve decided that I’m going to use the Headspace meditation app to build some time into my life for calm reflection. Last night, just before bed I gave introductory session number 1 a whirl and it definitely calmed the old squirrel down for a few minutes. That said, he still tried his hardest to be heard. What are we doing? Why is it so echo-ey in here? Am I the only one hearing that nose whistle when we breathe in? How long until I get my mind powers. If I had my mind powers I’d silence this British prick who keeps droning on in our ears. How about I list all of the things that we didn’t finish today, and after that all of the things that we have waiting for us to do tomorrow.

I’ll let you know when I cultivate some inner tranquility.

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